Head Quarters, Royal Air Corps., Rue de L' Aerodrome, Nancy, France.
Weekly Dispatches
Communiqué No. 01
May 1917
To Field Marshall Haig:
Let it be known that on Friday night most recent, Major Dodger, of the Royal Air
Corps, conducted a sortie to a public bar in Nancy named Moe's. During the
evening, Major Dodger was witnessed to engage a keg of beer without hesitation
or regard to his own personal safety. Midway through this engagement, an entire
bottle of Jack Daniels entered the fray, causing significant damage to Dodger's
internal organs.
Undaunted, Dodger continued his struggle to deal with both the full bottle of
Jack Daniels and the (by now) half full keg of beer. Dodger, fully aware
of the dangers of multiple targets, sought to disengage to the men's room at
frequent intervals. He was, however, unable to completely disengage and was
content to allow the bottle of Jack Daniels to accompany him at all times.
Always a modest man, Dodger claims not to be able to remember the entire
conflict - a common occurrence in a heated conflict - but witnesses indicate
that after dealing with Jack Daniels, he proceeded to jump the remnants of the
keg of beer, and, shortly after, the publican's daughter.
For his persistence against the odds, disregard for his own personal safety, and
for yelling at the moon for a good half hour after being relieved of his
position in the said venue, Dodger has been awarded disciplinary charges, two
court summons and a partly failed liver, and was removed from the scene by the
paramedics.
Colonel lil'sparrow
Royal Air Corps
Communiqué No. 02
01/02/04
To Field Marshall Haig:
December
20 2003; RAC_Draegon gallantly defended Ypres Aerodrome against the onslaught of
Huns by out flying and out shooting them. Due
to his efforts we preserved Ypres Aerodrome against impossible odds.
Well done RAC_Draegon.
Colonel lil'sparrow
Royal Air Corps
Communiqué No.
03
To Field Marshall Haig:
On
RAC_Questions
RAC_Felix
RAC_Viking
They defended Drome1 in D4.8 sector against overwhelming odds compelling the Huns to attack again and again, thereby clearing other map sections for successful bomber runs. Due to their gallant efforts RAC won this day by soundly defeating the Huns.
Colonel lil'sparrow
Royal Air Corps
Communiqué No.
04
To Field Marshall Haig:
Sir
Re. Captain Brenton Hass
Capt. Brenton Hass,
Flight A, Royal Air Corps. Flying a Nieuport type 28 was performing a recon
mission over Armentieres when he observed one formation of Albatross bombers
escorted by a formation of D7's over Armentieres. He flew around to the south,
signaled by flare their position and alerted a nearby Snipe Flight. He proceeded
to close with the EA formation and engaged the scout escort and forced the
bomber formation to scatter, who retired eastwards. During combat manoeuvres his
Nieuport's control wires broke lose and significant control to his plane was
lost. The right elevator wires totally detached and only a thread remained on
the left elevator. Finding his plane still, but barely, flyable with the minimal
aileron deflection still available, he continued to engage the EA forcing them
back to Lille and allowed the Snipe flight to manoeuvre into position and
engage. Once releived he was able to successfully return to the aerodrome where
he made a perfect landing. After submitting his recon report to the Officer on
Duty he requisitioned an available Spad and proceeded to fly 2 more sorties
before dusk.
Major Questions - Flight Leader
Colonel Lil Sparrow
Commanding Officer, Royal Air Corps
Communiqué No.
05
To Field Marshall Haig:
Sir
Re. RAC_Questions_EF
I wish to bring to your attention the exceptional qualities of a Royal Air Corps
serving officer during War Forces Week Six. Major Questions was placed in
charge of RAC's Delta flight, responsible for the far eastern map sector.
As you will be aware by now, this battle took place on Saturday 22nd January
2005 against two elite enemy squadrons - JGS4/J76 - who were united in their
goal to crush our airborne forces. To accomplish their dastardly aims, the
enemy used a limited but highly trained bomber force accompanied by a strong
fighter defence.
Major Questions led in exemplary fashion throughout the engagement. The
Major co-ordinated and participated in Delta Flight's attacks on enemy
aerodromes whilst also liaising with his fellow flight commanders. His
flight inflicted considerable damage whilst he personally was responsible for
more bombing successes than any other pilot in the engagement. He also
suppressed an enemy aerodrome single-handed, deep behind enemy lines, until
reinforcements arrived. In so doing, Major Questions accounted for eight
of the enemy, without once being forced down by enemy action.
The Major's achievements must be viewed from another perspective. The
influence of the enemy's persuasive and potent secret agent, Al Kohl, remains
undiminished amongst our ranks. Sadly, it was evident from the briefing to
this battle that Major Questions was already considerably afflicted, as were a
number of his flight. Nevertheless the Major managed to overcome these
odds, to the extent that there is no doubt that this officer's gallantry greatly
contributed to our victory in the encounter.
For the above reasons, I recommend that official recognition of his exploits
should be forthcoming.
Colonel Lil Sparrow
Commanding Officer, Royal Air Corps
Dated 25th January 2005.
Communiqué No.
06
To Field Marshall Haig:
Sir
Re. RAC_Maarvin_EF
On the 9th October, Captain Maarvin in a Nieuport type 17 commenced an attack at
18.45 PM on a heavily defended target Supply Bridge. As he was approaching from
the north after successfully outmanoeuvering multiple EA, the static defences
put up an unexpectedly heavy flak barrage to dissuade an attack. Undaunted
Captain Maarvin continued his approach and dropped to 8,000 feet to confuse the
flak gunners. This lightened the barrage but a stray shot exploded 200ft from
the port wing causing substantial structural damage. Rather than retreat,
Captain Maarvin pressed on with his attack and dived towards the Supply Bridge.
As Captain Maarvin commenced his bombing run 3 EA appeared from the East at
15,000 feet. The EA attempted to engage Captain Maarvin but he was successful in
fending them off until his bombing run was completed.
Captain Maarvin was forced to make an emergency landing but after setting fire
to his machine and maps he was successful in evading enemy infantry and reached
friendly lines before dawn.
Initial Air recon reports indicate that the Supply Bridge has been totally
destroyed.
For the above reasons, I recommend that official recognition of his exploits
should be forthcoming.
Colonel Lil Sparrow
Commanding Officer, Royal Air Corps
Dated 12th October 2005.